Malphite. Yeah, that hulking rock creature with the fancy name “Monolith.” Honestly, just looking at him makes me feel like I should start taking better care of my skin routine. Anyway, this guy has been causing a stir in League of Legends for years, and I figured I’d dive in to see: is he the unstoppable force he’s cracked up to be? Or is he just an unbeatable tank that never quite lets go of his rock-solid grip on the meta?
Malphite: The Story Behind the Monolith
Before we talk about how Malphite smashes people (literally), let’s get into the backstory. Malphite’s lore is like something out of a fantasy novel. He’s an ancient living monolith from the core of the world, created to be a defender. His creators? The Shurima, an ancient and long-forgotten race (I mean, do we even know what they were up to besides messing with rock creatures?). Malphite wasn’t just built for destruction—he was built for balance. That’s a nice twist, right? He’s basically the world’s biggest, most destructive peacekeeper.
Malphite’s vibe is like a 7-foot-tall bouncer who only steps in to stop things from getting out of hand. Imagine him at a club, pushing the unruly ones to the door while everyone else enjoys their drinks. Yeah, he’s that guy. And I can’t lie—he’s also the guy who always gets invited to the party.
What Makes Malphite Tick? (And Smack People)
Okay, so the first time I played Malphite, I was completely unprepared. I thought, “Hey, he’s just a big rock, right? What could possibly go wrong?” Fast forward to the first team fight, and I was eating dirt (not literally, but… almost). Now, having learned from my mistakes, let’s break down why Malphite isn’t just a big rock but a massive, grinding machine of tanky power.
Granite Shield (Passive): This Is Your Safety Net
Malphite’s passive is like the world’s most loyal bodyguard. It’s called Granite Shield, and basically, every few seconds, Malphite gets a shield that can absorb a ton of damage. Imagine you’re in a fight, but then, bam, your “extra life” kicks in, making you just that much harder to take down. No one expects it, and it’s the reason Malphite can get so annoying to kill in the early game.
Pro Tip: If you’re not paying attention to that shield, you’re going to find yourself unexpectedly dead when you thought you had him low. Ask me how I know…
Seismic Shard (Q): Catch ‘Em If You Can
So, Malphite’s Q ability—Seismic Shard—basically slows the enemy and deals magic damage. Seems simple enough, right? Yeah, sure, but what really gets annoying is when you’re the target of a Seismic Shard and suddenly your escape is just… gone. The first time I got hit by it, I felt like I was trying to run through wet cement. Not exactly a fun time. The slow is brutal, and if you’re a squishy champ (read: squishy me), you’ll be eating dust real fast.
I remember this one match where I was playing an AD carry, and I got hit by Malphite’s Q. I swear, I could hear him laughing from behind the screen as I realized I had no chance of outrunning him. RIP.
Brutal Strikes (W): When Being Tanky Pays Off
This one’s fun. Malphite’s W, Brutal Strikes, makes his basic attacks deal extra magic damage and buffs his armor. So, not only is he tougher than a brick wall, but he also packs a punch when he decides to slap someone. The more armor Malphite builds, the harder this thing hits. And if you’ve built him tanky with the right items? Oof. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever been hit by a tank that does damage and stuns you, but I don’t recommend it. It’s like when your car’s brakes stop working, and you’re just waiting to crash.
Ground Slam (E): The Rock Smash
Ground Slam is Malphite’s E. He slams the ground and deals area-of-effect damage. Think about this for a second: you’re in a team fight, and this giant rock creature smashes the ground, and suddenly your ADC has no attack speed. You’re now looking at this monster in front of you, and you realize that you’ve made a big mistake. His Ground Slam doesn’t just hurt—it hinders the enemy team, especially if they rely on attack speed. Once you’ve fed Malphite a bit of armor, that slam gets wicked strong.
Unstoppable Force (R): Game-Changer
Here’s the kicker. Malphite’s ultimate, Unstoppable Force, is what turns him from “hey, he’s tanky” to “OH NO, HE’S HERE.” It’s like an over-the-top WWE move, where Malphite charges, slams into enemies, and knocks them airborne. It’s a classic initiation tool—basically, if you see him charging at you, you better hope you have a getaway plan… or just accept your fate.
I once had this moment where I was the one being slammed. I tried to escape, but as Malphite knocked me up and my team followed up with a burst of damage, my only thoughts were: “Why did I ever leave my tower?”
Malphite’s Place in the Meta: Tank or Terror?
Here’s where things get interesting. Malphite can flex like a pro. He’s typically a tank—more armor than you can count, soaking up damage, and providing team disruption. But here’s the thing: he can also build a bit of damage. You know that person who shows up at a barbecue wearing a shirt that says “I’m here to relax”—then they go ahead and win the cornhole tournament? Yeah, that’s Malphite.
Malphite as a Tank
This is where most players stick him—frontline bruiser who just doesn’t die. You get a few defensive items like Thornmail, Ninja Tabi, and Randuin’s Omen, and suddenly, Malphite is an impenetrable wall of rock. If you’re playing against a team that loves auto-attacking—hello, ADCs—Malphite is your worst nightmare. His scaling with armor and his ability to just chill in the frontline means he’ll be there for a while. And when he decides to Ultimate? You’re probably in trouble.
Malphite as a Split Pusher
I’ll be real—I was skeptical about split-pushing with Malphite at first. But after watching a couple of games, I was convinced. Malphite can wreck towers thanks to his insane tank stats, and while the enemy team is dealing with his rocky presence, you can push those lanes down faster than a kid with a slingshot. (Side note: I’m still not allowed to throw rocks in my neighbor’s yard, but I’m getting off-track.)
Malphite in the Jungle
And yes, Malphite can jungle. I didn’t believe it either until I gave it a shot. His clear is smooth (as smooth as my first attempt at coffee making, but let’s not talk about that), and his crowd control is invaluable for securing objectives. I’ve seen Malphites steal Baron with a well-timed Ultimate and a smite at the same time—and it’s pure magic. There’s just something satisfying about hearing Malphite knock enemies up right as you’re securing a massive objective. But don’t get too cocky—early ganks can be a bit weak until you hit level 6.
How to Counter Malphite: Spoiler Alert—It’s Not Easy
Here’s the dirty truth: Malphite is a tough nut to crack. But hey, if you can land a poke-heavy comp with magic damage, he’ll struggle. A lot. Champions like Vayne, Karthus, or Teemo—yeah, they’ll make him wish he wasn’t as tanky as he is.
Just make sure you know your items, because picking up Last Whisper or Void Staff is a good way to turn Malphite into a glorified paperweight. If you can dodge his Q and keep your distance, you’ll be okay… probably.
So, Is Malphite Unstoppable?
Fast forward past three failed attempts, and here’s the kicker: Malphite isn’t exactly unstoppable. He can be countered, especially with the right mix of damage and crowd control. But when you get him into a team fight, and he hits that Ultimate? Yeah, there’s nothing quite like it.
Malphite’s more than just a tank; he’s the ultimate disruptor. His ability to absorb damage and make life miserable for the enemy is unrivaled. The best way to beat him? Outmaneuver him. But if you’ve got him on your team? Hold on tight—this rock’s rolling through.
