You ever get that feeling you’re being watched? Like tiny eyes glinting from beneath your floorboards? That’s probably just the Skaven. Yeah, those ratmen folks who crawl and scheme way below your feet—literally in the shadows.
Now, I gotta admit, I learned about these critters the hard way. No, I didn’t find one under my bed (thank god). But when you start digging into their world, you realize these aren’t your everyday sewer rats. They’re an empire of clawed chaos, full of nasty politics, savage battles, and enough weird science to make your head spin.
Anyway, here’s the kicker: The Skaven aren’t just vermin. They’re a whole civilization that thrives in darkness, always scheming, always hungry for power—both above and below the earth.
How the Skaven Got Their Start (And Why You Don’t Want to Meet ‘Em)
So, picture this: way back before cities had streetlamps and before your grandma’s grandma was even born, something creepy stirred beneath the ground. The Skaven supposedly crawled out of Chaos itself. No, not just rats running wild—mutated, smart, and cunning ratfolk who worship a Horned Rat god. Sounds bonkers, right?
I remember reading this dusty old book at Pete’s Hardware (yeah, the place with that cracked watering can that I’ve accidentally overfilled with too much water more times than I care to admit). The book said these Skaven grew in number like mold on forgotten cheese—creeping through catacombs and tunnels, burrowing under cities without anyone noticing until it was way too late.
- Spawned from pure Chaos magic (that’s some hardcore rat origins).
- They didn’t just get smarter overnight—think slow evolution on warpstone steroids.
- Took over tunnels under every major city, like vermin landlords in rat suits.
I swear, the smell of damp stone and rot still makes me think of these guys. Their underground empire is no joke.
What Life is Like in Skaven Society (Spoiler: It’s Not a Rat Disneyland)
The Skaven have a social setup that’d make any backstabbing politician blush. You think your office is toxic? Try this: The top dogs sit in the Council of Thirteen, and those seats are won by killing each other—literally. One slip-up and you’re rat food.
Inside the warrens, it’s all clans and power plays:
- Clan Moulder: These freaks breed monsters. I’m talking mutated rats with enough teeth to bite through a wagon wheel.
- Clan Pestilens: They’re the plague-spreaders, with all the nasty diseases you try to avoid at family reunions.
- Clan Eshin: Silent ninjas of the rat world, masters of sneaky kills and skulking in shadows.
I once joked with my buddy Dave that the Skaven are basically rat mafiosos. He agreed but said “with less charm.” Fair.
And get this: their religion? The Horned Rat. They sacrifice everything—including their own kin—to keep their god happy. Imagine that at your next family dinner.
- Everyone’s stabbing each other in the back—figuratively and literally.
- Loyalty? Ha! Only to the strongest claw.
- Their whole life is basically a game of survival of the sneakiest.
Honestly, I wouldn’t last a day in their tunnels.
The Way These Ratmen Fight is Pure Madness
If you think rats just bite and run, think again. The Skaven are like if your nightmares had claws and warpstone-powered weapons. They swarm enemies like a plague, then throw in bombs and mutant monsters to seal the deal.
Here’s some fun tidbits I dug up (I even tried to draw one of their war machines once, but my dog chewed it up—story of my life):
- They dig tunnels beneath enemy forts and collapse walls from below (sneaky, right?).
- Use warpstone (glowing, chaotic rock) to power crazy guns and bombs that explode all over the place.
- Ride giant mutated beasts like rat-ogres, which sound as terrifying as they look.
I once read about a battle where Skaven unleashed a horde so big it was like a tidal wave of gnashing teeth. Surface armies get flustered trying to fight underground rat armies with exploding poop—okay, maybe not poop, but definitely some seriously nasty chemical warfare.
Famous (Or Infamous) Skaven Personalities
You want drama? The Skaven got it by the tail. These guys are like reality TV villains crossed with twisted mad scientists.
Take The Hornblower of Clan Eshin—legend has it he took down three kingdoms with nothing but a poisoned blade and some sick stealth skills. The dude was like a ninja rat with a god complex.
Or Verminkin the Iron, who somehow thought mixing flesh and metal was a good idea. Picture Frankenstein but with more teeth and less sanity. The war engines he built made my old lawnmower look like a toy.
And then there’s Grey Seer Wakiz-Ox, who tried to overthrow the whole rat council. Spoiler alert: He failed, but the chaos he unleashed nearly destroyed their whole empire.
- Hornblower: Assassin rat who’s probably hiding under your bed right now.
- Verminkin: The Frankenstein of rat-war machines (gross but effective).
- Wakiz-Ox: The ambitious rat who dreamed big and got burned.
Honestly, I wouldn’t want to be on their bad side—or their good side, for that matter.
Skaven Tales That’ll Make You Sleep with the Lights On
The stories about Skaven are as weird as they are creepy. One favorite involves the Vault of Vermin—a secret library supposedly full of forbidden magic texts. Legend says reading those tomes makes rats go crazy (which, frankly, might explain a lot).
Another spooky one is the Midnight Market, a rat auction where Skaven buy and sell all kinds of creepy stuff—plagues, cursed weapons, mutant beasts. Reminds me of the weird flea markets I end up at during road trips (minus the plagues, thankfully).
- Vault of Vermin: Hidden library where knowledge equals madness.
- Midnight Market: The rat mafia’s shopping spree for death and chaos.
- Ghost rats: Spooky rat spirits that guard secrets—visible only on the darkest nights.
I swear, hearing these tales makes me double-check my basement door.
How People Fight Back (And Sometimes Win) Against the Skaven
Here’s the thing—sometimes, folks do manage to push the Skaven back. Take the Battle of Blackfire Pass. Dwarves, humans, and elves teamed up (probably while arguing) and sealed some tunnels with fire and steel.
Then there was Vermonth-Dred, a city that held out against a month-long Skaven siege. People got hit with plague clouds and giant rat beasts but held their ground like champs. In the end, they blew up a stash of warpstone, burying the ratmen in their own filth.
But, trust me, these wins are like getting rid of dandelions—you pull one out and a dozen pop up elsewhere.
Final Thoughts (Because You’re Still Here, Brave Soul)
So yeah, the Skaven aren’t just nasty rodents. They’re cunning, brutal, and relentless. I used to think rats were just a nuisance until I read about these guys. Now, every time I hear scratching below my floorboards, I’m a little less chill.
And honestly? The world’s a little darker knowing these ratmen lurk in the shadows, plotting their next move.
If you want to survive? Keep the lights on. Don’t underestimate the vermin. And maybe, just maybe, keep a bottle of warpstone antidote handy. Or don’t—what do I know, I’m just some guy who once tried to grow herbs and killed Gary (my basil plant) in less than a week.
